you know, it may be because i have a ton of summer homework, but i am really beginning to feel resentment towards the american educational system.

i mean, it seems like i have been learning the same things in history over and over again for the past 7 years or so. and i learn math i will never use. and the only writing i have been doing recently is literary analysis - which i suppose is a good thing to be able to do, but... there are other kinds of writing out there. why can't i be learning things i'm really interested in?

really. i would enjoy school if i could just learn things i felt were more relevant to my future. or simply my interests. i would bury myself in books about environmentalism, politics, art, german, modern literature, social change... so many things! but no - instead, i find myself not being able to dig into these things because i have to work on school assignments. my education is preventing my education. (isn't there a quote about that somewhere? by wilde or twain or somebody?)

in fact, i was thinking the other day - the structure of society is very limiting in itself. our lives are planned out and dictated by school, work, etc. - i essentially have to take four years of high school. four years of college. maybe two years of graduate school to get a master's degree. then i will get a job and pay off debts until the day i die.

i suppose it's all really because of money... in theory, i could quit high school now and never go to college and work some crap job for the rest of my life. maybe marry and have kids and live in a small house in a 'bad neighborhood' and struggle to pay the mortgage and buy school supplies. eat macaroni and cheese three times a week and buy all of the family's clothes at wal-mart and never have the time or energy to read another book. spend my evenings watching sitcoms and the local news, trying to forget about the bills from the dentist and pediatrician and insurance company. and end up wishing i had followed society's plan after all...

but why does it have to be like that? why can't a person have the freedom to make a decent living without spending thousands of dollars on an education? why can't a person marry young and have children young and still have the chance at a pleasant future? why are there so many restrictions?

(those are more just rhetorical questions than anything else, by the way. i realize there are logical explanations and reasons for all of this. and that it depends on a huge complicated web of factors and traditions and numbers, etc. but i can't help but be frustrated and ask...)

hmmm.

[wow. i just read that, and i don't think it makes any sense. but i'll post it anyway :)]

argh, i hate packing. i hate flying. i hate sitting in airports. in other words, i hate tomorrow...

for all you out there who don't know (which is practically all of you), i have been in germany for 3 months. as a foreign exchange student. and tomorrow i fly back home... *sigh* It is so strange to think of myself back there. I feel like i was just starting to belong here - a part of the picture instead of a spectator. and now i'm leaving. so weird...

i think i've really been taking germany for granted. not appreciating how much i will miss it when i'm back home. i mean, there are just so many people that i will miss - my host family, some friends... :( then again, i miss my family and friends in america too... grrrr. if only i could have both lives at once :)

well, i should get back to packing. all of these piles need to be transferred into my suitcases...

-sophie

well, i haven't posted an update for a while, so i feel like i should write one. even though i have nothing to say...

umm...

ooohh, i love 'The Scientist' by Coldplay... could listen to it fifty times and want to hear it again :) it's so sad, but in a beautiful way...twists my heart every time.

have also been listening to Sarah McLachlan a lot lately - especially 'Witness'. my favorite part:

And when we're done soul-searching
And we carried the weight
And died for a cause
Is misery made beautiful
Right before eyes?
Will mercy be revealed
Or blind us where we stand?

makes you think...

but yeah. i really do have nothing to talk about, so i'll stop my babbling :)

-sophie

well, i promised to add to my list of favorite teensy things...

- ink erasers
- dandelions
- saving ladybugs from certain death in my room
- jelly belly recipes :)
- lip balm so yummy you lick it off as soon as you put it
on
- silly putty
- chai tea
- "studying" with friends
- discovering a new favorite book and making everyone you
know read it

there's just so many... i think this will be an ever-continuing update!

i've been thinking about the relationship between people and their governments... and i realized that government isn't anything that it should be.

now, this may be quite obvious to everyone else, but it's a new thought for me (so bear with me, here :)). america is supposedly a representative democracy. in which case the elected officials in our government represent the people.

so why is it that so many people are unhappy with the government? why is it that laws are seen as restrictions instead of... how would one phrase it... protective guidelines?

is it because people don't vote? or because the government is corrupt? or both? or is it the structure of our government?

random question that i must ask before i can continue with above thought process: why is it that everybody has a different opinion? (well, obviously not everyone has a different opinion. but why are there so many different ones?) everybody wants the world to be a happy, healthy, safe place. don't they? so why is it so hard to agree on how to get there?

anyway. government. it seems to me that government should be something created by the population, something that is constantly changing according to the will of the majority. and why doesn't that happen in... the u.s., for example? (sorry, but america is the country i know best. :)) it seems like what happens is politicians trick the population into thinking that they should be elected, and then go against the will of the people for 2-4 years, or however long their term is. and everybody complains while they're in office, and then only 30% or something even bothers to vote at the next election. (it's probably not 30%. i can't remember what the right number is... something low though. something pathetic.) so, the whole system is stupid...

how could it be changed? why are people so uninterested in the way their lives are run? why are politicians interested in obtaining a position when they don't even want to serve their people?

maybe it's because everything is so big. people think their vote doesn't matter; people think the national government doesn't care what their opinion is. (which is actually kind of true. i mean, as Prez Dubya said himself, 'I'm not going to base foreign policy on popular opinion.' - or something like that. hello?! the entire government is based on popular opinion!!! but anywho...)

so maybe the problem could be solved by changing the structure of the government. or not even really changing the structure, but emphasizing local government more than national government. if things are localized, people will feel more in charge of what's happening in the government. things should start from the bottom up, or in other words from little town governments all the way up to national government, instead of vice versa.

or maybe the population should have more control over the president while he's in office. i mean, right now we can't do anything after he's (it's always a he!) elected, can we? (not an expert on the u.s. constitution... sad. we learned about it in eighth grade, but i have a pathetic memory. good thing i have american government next year. :)) we just sit there for four years while he breaks campaign pledges and ruins the environment and starts unwanted wars...

oh! i have another random question: why is it that the UN isn't punishing the US for totally going against what they wanted? i mean, come on! punish us somehow! the US deserves to get a slap across the face (a peaceful one, mind you) for being so... i don't know... impudent. people have gotten so nationalistic it's sick and wrong... we seriously need a scolding.

but. i'm getting off topic.

where was i? (goodness, this update is so long. i'm sorry, for all of you who have made it this far. i'm almost, done, i promise. :))

so - in conclusion :) - i really think we need some sort of governmental reform, at least in the US. some kind of revival of local government, or a reminder to people that government affects everyone's lives, and that everyone should therefore vote. and pay attention to what's going on, at least locally.

because if government was less governing, negative, and destructive and more creative, protective and representative, it would be so cool....

okay. i'm finished.